Let’s Get Ready to Ramble

ย The word โ€œhikeโ€ is one that fills me with immediate and profound dismay. Like when other people hear words like dental surgery or experimental jazz. I immediately conjure up visions of craters and cliffs, ropes and crampons, dehydration and mountain rescue. Normally if I was invited on a hiking trip, Iโ€™d fumble desperately for an … Continue reading Let’s Get Ready to Ramble

Send In The Tumbleweeds

โ€™ve played the saxophone in some run down places: grim stinking pubs in the forgotten outskirts of Sydney, a few desperate alcoholics braying for ACDC despite our matching suits and 60s Rhythm & Blues setlist; slick cocktail bars in South East Asia, incongruous with the rats and trash, the abject poverty on all sides; below-deck nightclubs on seedy Russian Cruise ships- bleary vodka eyes and sudden outbursts of horrific drunken violence. And then thereโ€™s NYCโ€™s West Village, January 2021...

Reality: A Survival Guide

A crack appears, the sky darkens, and then a crumbling spewing fetid chasm opens up before you; the screams and moans of lost souls escape from its depths. What you have here is reality, and havenโ€™t I warned you about messing with that?

Escape from New York

Entry to Rockaway is rough. The free shuttle to the beach is too horrific to consider: small, clapped-out vans with no suspension, torn broken seats, airless and stinking; on their last tour of duty before the knackery. I opt for the walk across the peninsulaโ€“ itโ€™s only ten minutes, but itโ€™s an adventure though an almost cinematically rundown industrial horrorscape. Under crumbling rail bridges, past abandoned lots, burnt out cars; the gangs of beach-bound teenage girls in flip flops huddle tightly together, tote bags clutched nervously. But mixed with the stink of exhaust and urine, the ocean air holds a promise; and the rumble of the Atlantic infiltrates the sounds of traffic and wailing winos...

New York City: Signs of Life in the Smoking Ruins

At an old favourite, 1803 in TriBeCa, we sat in the ruins of our city and ate grilled oysters, while a band of our friends and heroes played their hearts out, their music echoing through the deserted neighbourhood; intently ignoring the iceberg out the porthole and the water lapping around their shins...

South Brooklyn Badlands and a Bar with No Name

Iโ€™m standing at a bar, pushing my luck. Iโ€™ve got a beer in my hand and Iโ€™m wearing out my welcome. Currently in New York City, Iโ€™m allowed to order a drink at the bar, but not drink it there. Mask on, distance observed, Iโ€™m supposed to order and pay, then take my drink and get the hell out. But I want to sit here. I want to lean back in a rickety stool, eavesdrop on neighboursโ€™ conversations, maybe pass an eye over some sport I donโ€™t care about on the TV in the corner, spin a beer mat between my fingers, and order another one. Thatโ€™s what neighbourhood bars were invented for...

Quarantine Dreams pt 2

I know what youโ€™re thinking. Youโ€™re thinking Iโ€™m standing in front of my open fridge, staring mindlessly at the same sad selection of wilting food I stared at yesterday and the day before. But youโ€™d be wrong. Iโ€™m actually edging my way through the crowds at the Old Airport Road Hawker Centre in Geylang, Singapore. Itโ€™s a squat, two level concrete pile, open to the elements on all sides; it feels a little like a converted parking garage. Round metal tables are bolted to the floor, surrounded by similarly affixed stools, all of them occupied. Iโ€™m never going to find a seat.ย 

The Lockdown Diary: A View from the Stoop

Walled in on all sides by hideous apartment blocks, my flat gets no natural light, which suits my vampiric lifestyle perfectly. But Iโ€™m starting to think this perpetual shadow dwelling might not be great for my health. I just Googled the symptoms of rickets. So Iโ€™ve drawn an imaginary line out front of my building, Iโ€™m keeping my distance, and Iโ€™m spending the afternoon on the stoop...

Discovering Wild Foodโ€“ Lights Out, Blinds Drawn

This post first appeared on the short-lived "A Hare After Midnight"   Iโ€™m not a weirdo. Honest Iโ€™m not. But we all have those moments of weakness, donโ€™t we? Itโ€™s late, youโ€™re tired and hungry, sitting in the dark, scouring the internet for some kind of solace, when you see an ad. Normally youโ€™d give … Continue reading Discovering Wild Foodโ€“ Lights Out, Blinds Drawn

Quarantine Dreams

I know what it looks like. It looks like Iโ€™m sitting at the kitchen table, eating cold spaghetti out of a Tupperware container, flecks of red sauce decorating the front of my dressing gown. But Iโ€™m not. Iโ€™m actually sitting on a low plastic stool in an alley off Yaowarat road in Bangkokโ€™s Chinatown, eating a huge bowl of spicy aromatic noodle soup. A trickle of filthy drain water runs by my table, and thereโ€™s a watchful cat in every shadow.